It’s no secret that I don’t drive. It’s pretty much a Fact of Sarah that I do not drive. Nor have I ever driven. I mean I’ve driven around an empty parking lot at an old dog race track a few times. And once I drove my brother’s Audi down my parents’ road and then hit the gas instead of the brake and hit my other brother’s car. I was 15, okay? So besides those very few instances, I never learned to drive. I’ve always had a non-driver’s ID or used my Passport for ID. And I walk everywhere. Which wouldn’t seem so unusual if I lived in an area that was walkable or had even remotely functional public transportation. But I’ve survived as a walker…but not without it’s trials and tribulations. So, welcome to…
THE LIFE AND TIMES OF A PERPETUAL PEDESTRIAN
So my old job had a 2 minute commute. Out the door, turn the corner, boom, hey work, what up. It was lovely. I went home for lunch everyday with A, got to see the dogs, could compulsively clean as I saw fit and always got to open my Birchbox and ipsy at lunch. (I have priorities.) But now with my new gig, I have roughly a 12 minute walk. To me a 12 minute walk is nothing – I mean I take an old lady cart to the grocery store, I’m a seasoned walking professional. However, I did not count on the fact that I would be walking through the tundra of unplowed sidewalks and nearly dying on a daily basis.
So each day on my walks to and from work I keep trying to come up with better ways of walking – because let’s face it, that 2 minute commute ruined me. I’m spoiled.
So, I’ve got winter boots. I’ve got a scarf. I added a second scarf to wrap around my face as well, because damn, it’s windy, but that scarf keeps coming undone. I have touch screen gloves to control my iPhone and Spotify while I walk and then I lost my over-priced amazing headphones. And my hands get cold. I bought a new coat this winter (since A deemed my long 1980s old lady coat “uncool” because suddenly he’s Mr. Fashion) and it’s wool and adorable and belts and the waist and LETS IN ALL THE COLD.
And then there is the fact that I happen to be walking down a street that seems to be littered with people that try to talk to me. Or drunkenly stumble into me. Or yell out, “HEY CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?” as I’m bustling by with my Great Gatsby bag trying to look terribly, terribly unfriendly. So here’s the picture:
Me: Wool coat, two scarves, one wrapped around my face and the ends flapping in the wind, a very large grey wool slouchy hat, grey winter boots, Gatsby bag on one shoulder, purse cross-body, usually giant cat-eye glasses that are fogging up due to the scarf on my face and the entire time I am looking down to a) try to avoid the icy spots that are going to cause my death and b) avoid eye contact with any of the people that nearly stumble by me or ask to speak with me on the sidewalk across from a bar that got shut down for too many violent outbursts requiring police response.
But there is a bright spot in my trials and tribulations thus far. After writing and rewriting a Letter to the Editor to the local newspaper in my head on my daily walks about the state of the town sidewalks, A’s brother bestowed upon me an early Christmas gift of…
YAKTRAX! Oh, hey lifesavers. In the two days I’ve had these, I haven’t worried about slipping and falling because these actually grip the snow.
I HAVE SNOW TIRES FOR MY FEET.
I actually enjoyed my walk home from work the other day – I could walk at a normal pace, I didn’t slip once, and when I got home they peel off easily. They’re also small so you can throw them in your purse if it’s supposed to become treacherous later in the day. Overall, A+ from this pedestrian. Oh and I just wore them home from a tea party tonight and they do indeed glow-in-the-dark!