I love food. I always have. So does my boy, and he works at a fabulous restaurant where we REALLY love food. But I guess I’ve had food issues. I suppose. From the time I was in 6th grade I was the chubby girl. I was tall, had glasses, was incredibly awkward and smart – a terrible combination. My food troubles probably began when a girl in my 6th grade class got all of my friends to pretend the earthquaked whenever I walked by. I found a journal from that time, and it says “I am so fat, I am 5’6″ and weigh 130 pounds.” and my jaw nearly dropped. I don’t even remember what skinny was like! And I don’t remember when I didn’t feel guilty about food.
I have TREMENDOUS food guilt. If I eat anything that my brain deems “bad” I feel guilty the entire time, and the time thereafter. So, for example, if I had a Cadbury egg, while I was chewing it’s chocolatey goodness, my brain is sending guilt feelings to my gut, so I scarcely enjoy it because the whole time, running through my head is
“BAD FOOD! UNHEALTHY FOOD! SHOULDN’T BE EATING THAT, FATTY!”
And it’s not just straight up “junk food,” it’s if I have a bagel, put a lot of cheese on my pasta or put a lot of peanut butter on my sandwich, or use a lot of half & half in my coffee in the morning. It’s terrible. Absolutely terrible. So, you’d figure I’d just eat only super healthy foods, right? OF COURSE NOT. Why? Because they don’t taste as good. How could I give up cheese? And chocolate? Sometimes I assuage my guilt by eating perfect portions instead and counting calories and becoming obsessive, but it’s not long until I have too much of something, and the guilt comes back.
The longest I eliminated my food guilt was when I was on my super diet in college. But I’d still binge and feel awful at times. I’d eat perfectly all week and wait anxiously for my “cheat day” and eat ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I wanted on that one day. And then feel awful and disgusted with myself. I also developed grocery shopping habits around my guilt. I’d buy only “healthy” things – low fat cheddar even though it doesn’t taste as good, same with yogurt, bread, cereals. Get all things that didn’t really taste as good, but hey, they were lower in calories and fat! And even after I stopped all the dieting nonsense – I STILL have guilt shopping habits. I still grocery shop like I’m on a diet.
I’ve been eating delicious food with my bestie lately. We haven’t been counting servings or calories. But we’ve been putting together good, interesting foods, that aren’t just crap. Veggie burger quesadillas, lentils and brown rice, cheese, crackers and apples – all absolutely delicious and satisfying but not artificial. So yesterday we walked to the grocery store and I went grocery shopping and for the FIRST TIME, I just bought things I LIKE. Herbed brie, garlic baguettes, frozen veggies, veggie burgers, stuff for veggie tacos, falafel mix, juice, greek yogurt, carrots, apples, wheat thin crackers, multigrain cheerios….the list goes on forever. And you know what I noticed about my grocery list? It’s filled with delicious, satisfying, healthy foods. HEALTHY FOODS.
Once I let go of my guilt and just consciously thought as I shopped, “What do I LIKE to eat?” the choices were easy. I like good foods. I like satisfying foods. But the guilt has stopped me from just eating what I enjoy.
And I enjoy nourishing my body, who knew?
So, last night I sat down with my bestie, and eat ate grapes and herbed brie on wheat thing crackers. And it was delicious. Probably the best thing I’ve tasted in a long, long time.
Do you have issues with food? Or have you in the past? How have you overcome them?Read More
This past 3 weeks have been INSANITY! I can’t wait to share all of the exciting things I have coming up with you guys – it’s going to BLOW YOUR MINDS! Or maybe just mine…
What is a headless fatty? A headless fatty is a picture of fat person where the head is not shown. They are CONSTANTLY used in news reports and articles about the doom of the OBESITY EPIDEMIC (dun, dun, dunnnnnnn). They are nearly always fat women, that are not dressed well, eating something or about to eat something – those are the most popular shots.
After all aren’t ALL FATTIES ugly women that are ALWAYS eating?
So, I Googled obesity for images – just as Charlotte Cooper did, and what did I find? TONS
AND TONS OF HEADLESS FATTIES! It’s disgusting! Do I have to be careful there is not a camera man following me when I am out in public, waiting to capture me in all of my fatshionista glory, to only cut off my head and sell me to an article about obesity or weight loss? I mean, I don’t mind if I am getting followed by the paparazzi for my fatabulousity (did I just make a new word?), but not to make an EXAMPLE out of my rolls. (Unless you are saying, “OMG look how she ROCKS those rolls!”)
And to get to the most offensive part of headless fatties is the symbolism of it. Taking off heads is taking off the brain, the mouth, and what people look at everyday to see someone. Instead of being people that have intelligence, a voice, and a FACE, we are turned into just bodies to use as examples of what is “bad.” Why is this allowed?
Would this be acceptable for any other group of people – to post pictures of a group of people but cut off their heads to make them examples?
Of course not – so why is it okay to plaster anonymous fat bodies all over the internet and television? The fact is these pictures are used by news outlets to show that fat people are the embodiment of this “epidemic,” that they are unhealthy, have no self-disclipine, are dependent on food, cost the US tons of money, are going to die an early death…yadayadayada…it is DEHUMANIZING.
So, this is what I propose. I would like to make a page of….
So e-mail me your pics – whatever pic you want of yourself, I’ll add a link to your blog on the picture and create a whole separate page on my website of fatties with heads – that does not talk about OBESITY or HEALTH. Just how amazing we all look, ok? Send ‘em over to firstname.lastname@example.org and I will get to work!Read More
Coffee is my heaven. I love it. It cheers me up and wakes me up. I could never live without coffee and chocolate. And coffee and chocolate are a fabulous combination. Let’s talk about my coffee history.
Carl and I started out without a coffeemaker in our apartment. I drank coffee, but typically crap coffee I grabbed from the coffee cart before I had class. After a while we got the Senseo Coffeemaker for free through some weird pilot program. It was free and it made only one cup at time which was useful for us because I was the only one up in the morning because Carl worked overnights at the time. So the Senseo is an okay coffeemaker. It doesn’t make great coffee and you don’t have many options for pods and the pods are relatively expensive for how crappy they are. So, we discontinued the use of our Senseo.
Flash forward to our transatlantic jaunt to the UK. As a wedding gift, we got a big gift certificate to Starbucks from one of our close friends to get a french press. So we picked out a delightful French Press by Bodum for Starbucks. The French Press is by far my favorite method of making coffee for a nice, strong brew. And it was especially easy in the UK because we were “issued” an electric kettle by the university. We’d buy freshly ground coffee and make french press everyone morning, sitting in our flat with too many windows. But then, the inevitable happened: the glass broke. Bye, bye French Press.
After this, Carl found at Poundland (the best discount store ever!) a one cup filter cone.
I know, a WHAAAT? You put a filter in cone, put the cone over a cup, add coffee, and pour hot water over it and it makes a cup of coffee instantly. We used that until we moved back to the States. Sometimes I miss that strange little creature.
Last year, we just had a regular coffeemaker with an espresso attachment. The espresso attachment was far to much of a pain to bother with because Carl and I are inept, and we never drink coffee at the same time so I always made too much coffee and left it in the pot. We did, however, start grinding our own beans and buying more expensive coffee. We also got more into coffee culture – we bought Organic Exchange’s Love Buzz, Costa Rican Tarrazu, illy ground coffee. But we also lived above our favorite coffee shop, Brewhaha, so we often went downstairs to fulfill our needs for fabulous coffee and espresso. (Frappe Classico = my favorite drink EVER!)
And here we are today. For Christmas, I got my favorite coffeemaker – The Tassimo. It’s a single serve coffee brewer that takes T-Discs. It filters the water for the coffee through the water storage container in the back, and makes fresh coffee, espresso, lattes, and cappuccinos in under a minute. Why do I love it? Because I am always on the go in the morning. I don’t have time to brew a pot of coffee, I never remember to do it the night before, and with this I press a button and get back to getting ready. Also, it has Starbucks T-Discs. I know, I know, a lot of people don’t like Starbucks coffee, it’s not the best in the world I’m sure, but I enjoy their coffee brewed at home. The African Kimatu is delicious, and their breakfast blend is perfect for the morning. But it’s not only Starbucks that I’m a fan of – the Tassimo offers T-Discs from Milka, Gevalia, Mastro Lorenzo, Jacobs, Seattle’s Best, and more. Yeah, I sound like an advertisement, but I seriously HEART this coffeemaker.
Any other coffee lovers?Read More
I decided to bake today. John had a brownie mix by Barefoot Contessa on his counter and I thought, “I can do better than that!” and ran up to my kitchen. Since Carl and I have started only shopping at Wild Oats I’ve been experimenting with different baking ingredients:
Notice the wholewheat flour, Agave Syrup and unsweetened raspberry applesauce. So I googled some recipes and took pieced to make my own recipe.
Sarah’s Super Healthy Brownies
2/3 cup Agave syrup
1/2 cup unsweetened raspberry apple sauce
3 egg whites
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp salt
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
3/4 wholewheat flour
1/2 cup frozen/fresh mixed berries
1. Preheat oven to 350 and grease 8×8 pan.
2. Whisk together agave and cocoa.
3. Add egg whites one at a time
4. Stir in salt and vanilla until well mixed
5. Slowly add flour mixing until smooth and no more.
6. Fold in berries and pour into pan.
6. Bake 20-25 minutes.
Tada! So they look pretty good. Here is my review:
- They are actually good for you. Agave, egg whites, and whole wheat flour are great replacements for high carb white flour, whole eggs, and white sugar. They are fat free, too!
- They are very moist
- The dark chocolate and berry combo is yummy.
- They have this strange spongy texture. It’s not bad…just unfamiliar.
- They aren’t super sweet or very chocolatey
- they aren’t like a traditional brownie at all
3/4 stars. They are different, but they are healthy. I think the good outweighs the bad. Next time I may use half regular flour and throw in some chocolate chips.
So, I was just talking to my kids about England…and I got really nostalgic. So, these are (some of) the things (in no particular order) I miss about England.
Kraft bought Cadbury. Do I even WANT to buy it anymore? Will it even taste the same? And more importantly, do I want to support Kraft – I
mean, they own EVERYTHING! Sigh. What a chockablock.
What do you miss today?