I like being fat.

Posted by on Jun 22, 2010 in Fashion, Life | 57 comments

I like being fat. Not plus sized. Not curvy. Not voluptuous. Not big boned. Not thick. Or anything other euphemism I can’t think of at the moment. Why do I like being FAT?

Because the word “fat” no longer hurts me.

Even after I became a fa(t)shion blogger, I was still wary of the word fat. Why would I call myself that? There are so many OTHER words I could use – I mean, I’m a writer after all, and a poet no less, so I know how to rock synonyms. I avoided it. I used it on my blog, but there was no way outside of the blogosphere you would hear this girl calling herself a fatty. I’d probably call myself…a bigger girl. Maybe even a big girl if I was feeling brave, but definitely not fat. But why? Let’s look at the definition of fat:

From Merriam-Webster: notable for having an unusual amount of fat

From Wordnet: having an (over)abundance of flesh

From dictionary.com: having too much flabby tissue

So, what do we get from these defintions? Well, firstly, defining the adjective fat often involves using OTHER adjectives to fat, and that being fat means you have a flabby tissue or a lot of flesh. (Maybe I will start embracing the word fleshy?) And now let’s look at what the definitions DO NOT SAY:

- Ugly

- Smelly

- Unloved

- Unfashionable

- Stupid

- Unhealthy

WHO KNEW?

So, I’ve realized, it’s just a word. A descriptive one. I am not going to let it have negative connotations. I’m not going to feel bad about being fat. It’s just what I am. Fat. I have an overabundance of flesh. I have an unusual amount of fat. I have too much flabby tissue. (Though, not sure how much I agree with the whole “too much” and “overabundance” parts of the definitions, but hey, that’s a post for another time). And it’s okay to be fat. A lot of people are fat. A lot of people are thin. We’re all different. And the best part is, this doesn’t hurt me anymore.

Someone can call me fat, and I can say, “Why yes, I am.”

There has been a lot of talk recently of the way people use the word fat, people often say, “I feel fat today.” or “I look fat today.” But what are people really trying to say? It’s like the way my students use the word “gay.” Do they really mean that their phone is acting homosexual when it’s not working right? No, they mean it’s not working properly. So why not just say that, instead of using a word that has nothing to DO with a phone not working right – which is why I always correct them with my usual spiel, “Really? Do you really think that is “gay”? Or are you trying to say something else?” And they always correct themselves.

When someone says, “I feel fat today,” they probably truly mean,

I feel….

- unhappy

- sad

- bad about his/herself

- upset
Or a variety of other emotions. Let’s say what we REALLY mean. Let’s help people correct the way they speak -  because not only does it remove negative connotations from the word “fat,” it also encourages people to be in touch with how they feel. Their emotions.

So ladies, how do you feel about being fat? Or should I say, the word “fat”? Does it bother you? Did it bother you before, but now you’ve let go? Tell me your stories, I want to hear them, because I am now proud to say,

  • http://curiousfancy.com/ kittehinfurs

    Intellectually speaking I KNOW there was a point of time it bothered me to no end, but I can’t actually remember that time. It’s been a long time since I got okay with the word ‘fat’ as a self descriptor and I don’t even think about it anymore.

  • Molly

    This was nice to read, but the word still bothers me.
    if someone calls me fat, it still hurts. I can’t help it.

    I remember one time in high school overhearing a group of kids talking about me. Not particularly bad, it was just something like “she’s in group number four…” I remember being happy that they called me “she.” My heart fluttered… And then I realized I was grateful they didn’t call me it/shim/him which many were prone to do. It was messed up that I was so used to being dehumanized. My femininity ripped away from me. I’m still scarred.

    I don’t know if I will ever truly heal from the abuse because it continues to this day… At least I can find solace in blogs like this.

    • Jen

      i think there’s a big difference in self-labelling and being “othered”, if that makes sense. i’m fat, and i have curly hair. i can call myself fat and talk about my giant puffy curly hair. but if i’m in target and i hear somebody talking about giant puffy curly hair, it’s much more negative and labelling.

  • http://curvyladiesrule.blogspot.com/ Curvy Lady

    I am fat and I have come to terms with that. I can’t say there aren’t times when it bothers me to hear certain people say it in reference to me but I’m a work in progress.

    • Sarah

      Work in progress is fabulous! I was not too long ago!

  • http://heatherstruth.blogspot.com/ Heather

    I’m not okay with the word. I sure do wish I was, because I know I am a beautiful and intelligent woman. The fact that people cannot see past my “overabundance” of flesh makes me sad. I always ask people to be honest and tell me what they think of me, but if they ever mention the fact that I am fat it hurts. I know I can do something to make myself not fat, but I like myself. I like my curves, and my big breasts and larger rear end. I just don’t like that other people look at it and think “Wow, she is fat.” Maybe someday, but not today.

  • http://pocketrocketfashion.com Lauren

    I really like this post, especially on a fatshion blog. Part of me does want to delve into this territory on mine, but I feel not well read enough as the big guns, and plus it would invite debate from people who don’t understand and it would make me angry!

    I’ve never been able to use fluffier descriptions of my body as I felt it was misleading. I am fat. I am obese. I’m not curvy – I have tiny boobs and no waist when curves = boobs. Sometimes I am okay with my fat, obese, uncurvy body. Sometimes I’m not. But I know that objectively, that’s what I am so I’m not going to be offended by those words. Yeah it’s horrible when someone insults you but if you think about it it’s not neccessarily the words they use, it’s the intention behind it.

    Sorry I’ve read too many shitty comments today and am annoyed! x

  • http://lovingthereflection.blogspot.com/ Courtney

    The word “fat” used to really bother me. I remember when I was in high school (and not even fat, at that point) and “fat” being one of the worst insults anyone could throw at you. The word still freaked me out until a few years ago when I met my husband and got involved in the Fatshionista community on Livejournal. Nowadays, I don’t even think twice when I use the word to describe myself, because I don’t see it as a negative thing anymore. It’s just like saying “red-head” or “short” to describe myself.
    I do absolutely hate it when I hear kids use the term “gay” to describe something they don’t like or think is dumb, though. Thanks for trying to make a difference in that aspect. : )

    Loving The Reflection

  • http://reizende-rundungen.blogspot.com Katrin

    I always try to see the word fat jut as I would describe my best friend as skinny. Or just like I would use Oh she is tall/short/ has red hair … whatever. And at some point some months ago I came across the same thought, that if someone calls me fat I could just answer: “Oh my god, what an amazing conclusion! Yes I am fat. ” But in reality it isn’t that easy. I still think that despite my mostly colorful hair, my sometimes very unordinary clothes and my beautiful smile, people look at me and think: She is fat.
    But I know that it is me, who thinks that everyone else thinks so. I am … I don’t know the words in english…ahh, the dictionary says: I am losing my train of toughts.

    So what I wanted to say is that FAT still has a very, very negative connotation, even if we should just try to see it as a word to describe that you are thick. That’s it. I am very rare using it to decribe myself. I know that if you use it, for example when I am shopping with my friends and say: No I would be to fat for this. They look at you as if you said: No sorry I am the ugliest person in the whole world and could never ever wear this. Even if you just meant, sorry it won’t fit me, it is too small. I always get comments like: Ohh..you are not fat…just thick.

    People are fucking scared of this word. And so people who like to insult others, because of their own unsatisfaction with life, use it often enough to tell us: Fat is a bad word. If I call you fat I also mean this and this and this.

    It is time to come across this thinking. Cause in the end it is ourselves that keep think: ow he called me fat, so he also thinks i am stupid, and unhealthy and ugly!

  • Ali

    So what does this mean for fashion brands? I’m a copywriter and I work on quite a few ‘plus-size’ fashion brands – and I have to tell you, it’s a nightmare!

    Do we say curvy, do we say fuller figured, do we just list the sizes we do? I’m not sure that ‘fat’ would ever be the word to use, but anything we say can cause a stir. Some people hate ‘curvy’ and let’s face it, being plus-sized doesn’t necessarily mean being curvy. It’s a minefield.

    The brands I work on do some amazing things, they design clothes to fit your figure. So the design of something in a size 16 is different to the design of the same piece in a size 32 – but tell the customer that in a nice ‘non-offensive’ way is really tricky. A lot of the time we don’t do it justice, because we’re walking on egg shells. It’s a real shame.

  • http://www.sweetfacedstyle.blogspot.com Anika

    http://sweetfacedstyle.blogspot.com/2010/06/fab-link-love.html
    ;D
    xx Anika
    sweetfacedstyle.blogspot.com

    • Sarah

      I love you!

      • http://www.sweetfacedstyle.blogspot.com Anika

        love you back! <3

  • http://boombands.blogspot.com em. x.

    I find this a really interesting post. I have been called “fat” all my life.

    These days, when called “fat” I am happy to own it. I am not sure when I just thought, yeah- that’s true – but it was a long while ago now.

    Just recently a woman walked into me (her fault) and then called me a “fat bitch” because I took issue with her not looking where she was going. That’s not even a clever insult. In fact, I smiled when she said it and said – “Yeah, I am fat – that’s not insulting, it’s well observed. At least I’m not rude.”

    She had no idea how to respond. I loved that moment.

  • http://thedemoiselles.com Jennifer Nicole

    I love this post! It’s so good to see someone own the word, and not stress about it, instead of getting up in arms. Fat is a descriptor without any inherent negative connotation. Nothing more!

  • http://paperbullet.com lisa

    YES! Own it! Only once we actually deal with the honesty of the word and not it’s intention can you say, “I am fat. And?” There’s nothing wrong with fat. Associating fat with the negative is in your head, not your heart.

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ’0 which is not a hashcash value.

  • http://www.thefatapplenyc.com Mellie

    I am so excited by this post. I am also a fat girl and felt confident enough to name my website “The Fat Apple, NYC” because it’s my ft take on The big apple.
    I just came across your blog but I will definitely continue to read.
    Best,
    Mellie

    • Sarah

      Yay Mellie! Thanks for the link – I’ll be checking out your blog!

  • http://orangesapples.blogspot.com/ Franca

    I couldn’t agree more! I’m not fat myself, but a lot of my family are and I am interested in and very sympathetic to the fat acceptance/health at any size blogging world. As a result I’ve started using fat as a descriptor as in ‘my mum is fat’ without thinking about it and people always go ‘oh my god! Don’t say that!’ like it’s some sort of awful thing. So I stopped. I’m actually a bit tentative now. Is it ok for me as a non-fat person to describe people as fat? I assume so – but what do people think?

    • Beatrice

      just no:( 

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  • http://www.profreshstyle.com christina of profresh style

    I must say, I am extremely happy that you and I are both in July 1st’s LALM. I am proud to be placed with such an outstanding declaration. thank you for your words<3.

    xx.
    Christina

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  • http://www.project-kathryn.com kathryn

    I hate the word curvy too, because I’m not. To me, curvy suggests a pin-up girl, hourglass figure. Also plus-size I think it is something you use for clothing, not people.

    It’s amazing how people react when you call yourself fat. They are so fast to jump in with “no you aren’t”. Facts is just facts, people.

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  • Vicki

    I very much dislike the word fat. I come from a family of large women.My grandmother on my mother's side, my mom, and all of my 4 sisters! I am the smallest one and I wear a size 12 which in todays world is consisdered plus size. Several of my sisters have health issues because of their weight. My grandmother and mom were both able to get to a healthy weight for their frame. I applaude them because although I definately promote self acceptance…I feel that alot of large girls use that as a crutch to be able to remain at their unhealthy weight. We have all allowed ourselve to get lazy and get used to fast food and overeat. I speak for myself as I say this. I am overweight by 20 pounds. When I say thiss to some of the larger girls that I work with…..they get frustrated with me since I am the smallest person there. But I believe it our responsibility to take care of our bodies. In the long run…we will be healthier…feel better..and set a better example for our own children!

    • Tabayag

      Loving your body isn't a “crutch.” It's loving yourself for who you are. And being overweight doesn't necessarily mean you are unhealthy – don't call me lazy and talk about my eating patterns – you don't know anything about me or my health.

      I don't believe in “healthy weights” and “unhealthy weights,” you can be healthy at any size. If you really research “obesity” and the “epidemic” you will learn a lot of things you never knew before.

      Also, I don't plan on having children, but if I did, I would set the BEST example for them by showing them that I love myself, my body, and them – without being influenced by societies lies and pressures.

      • Vicki31763

        I absolutely dissaggree that you can be healthy at any size. I know alot of fat people…and most of them have health issues caused by their weight. I don't mean to come accross as a fat basher…because I am not…..I just think the whole ” love the fat person that you are” syndrome…has caused us to be a fat society!

        • Stillredheaded

          yo, vicki….i'm almost 53 years old and am FAT….i don't have diabetes….i don't have cholesterol problems…..i'm HEALTHY……

          so FU

          my brother who is 6'7″ tall and about 230….and he has all those problems….

          So, fat and healthy? MY HAND RAISED.

        • Goobidlyglapp

           you are a hater and very ignorant.  you can die of cancer topmmorow and on ur grave it could say”not fat”. What does that mean about ur health.  Also, helping overweight people accept themselves didn’t cause an obecity epidemic.  So why don’t u get off this site for good? 

      • Creativeguy504

        Wow Tabayag….Obviously you have issues. Defensive much? People like you are the reason obesity is so widespread.

        • Freddie

          you are a hypocrite.  you’re response wasn’t creative at all.
           

          • Rob

            and yours was?

    • Groach

      Marilyn Monroe was a size 12. So, technically you not only *not* overweight, but you are at a very good one (depending on height). Your statement about health is rather unfounded as well, considering that multiple studies have shown BMI and weight to be inconsidering of factors that make quite a difference – body frame, muscle mass, etc. Gymnasts routinely test at 'overweight' BMIs due to their muscle mass. It sounds like your family carries a gene for slower metabolism – I'm sorry. However, this does not mean that your sisters need to be a size 8 – for people with very slow metabolisms, this can be unhealthy to maintain. Please take that into consideration before making uneducated comments.

      • Vicki

        My family shares the gene that contributes to obesity…..yes…..and I never said that they should be a size 8….although my 5'11 sister used to be that size at one point. I am not talking about gymnists and people who have a reason to have a high BMI…I am just talking about people who are substantially overweight! My comments were not uneducated…..they come from my life experiences. The best education there is. I watch most women who are very overweight…come into the store that I work in…..out of breath….sweating…tired…..swollen feet and they make a point to sit down before they can shop. All I am saying is….while we all love outselves….lets not use it as an excuse to stay fat!!

        • Tabayag

          Your life experiences don't make you a doctor. And I can shop perfectly fine without sweating and being out of breath. And guess what? It is OKAY TO BE FAT. There are fat people and skinny people and it's ALL OKAY. Clearly, you haven't researched Health At Every Size or the lies of the obesity epidemic. And once again, you don't know anything about anyone else's health but your own, so please stop spreading your ignorance and hate on my blog.

          • vicki

            It's not hate…I don't hate anyone…and i never said I was a doctor…..show me one Doctor who says being fat is healthy and good for you…….

          • Tabayag

            http://www.amazon.com/Health-Every-Size-Surpris

            Here is one and there are many. Now I am done with this.

          • Ilovetowels

            you tell her taybag:)
             

      • Ilovetowels

        go groach go:)  you totally pwnd vicki:)
         

    • Speakmymind

      you are a disgusting hoar 

  • Neli_sunshine

    the word fat does not hurt me either but being fat does hurt my physical body… i only like being fat because it is a way of self harm and comfort and i can’t be bothered to get out of it.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TG4GVZLY4RPPFSMHAGWQUWESEE Dori

    Freddie said it best, “Fat bottomed girls, you make the rocking world go round.”

  • Healthyisgood

    How much did the fastfood industry pay you to keep writing this nonesense pseudo scientific bullshit? What you’re doing is no different from what the tobacco industry used to do by claiming that smoking doesn’t leave a serious public health and economic burden on society. How do you feel after eating enough food that can feed 15 adults somewhere in the world living in deep poverty? It’s a cruel world we live in and it’s sad that you feel absolutely no remorse or shame about consuming unnatural amounts of food and then go online just to brag about it when literally thousands of families starved to death because of your overconsumptious ass… you’re really a disgusting personality aren’t you?

    • Ryan

      I have a question for you, sir/madam: where in this post is food mentioned? Sure, food tends to be a contributing factor with weight gain, but you say it as if it is the only factor. While I can’t comment on the eating habits of the author, I can attest to scarfing down tons of fast food, all the while thinking “Screw those starving children, this is my McRib”, yet I remain a schvelt 145 at 6’1″. So we can’t deny biology contributes. It doesn’t define our physical being, but in the same vein neither does food. Which, if I may say again, was not mentioned.

      I would like to thank you for pointing out, however, the one and only reason for world hunger: the fat people are eating everything. This well-thought statement, riddled with as much educational reference as a common Wikipedia entry, just explains everything. Here I thought that there could have been other factors, like economics or lack of proper resources, but no, it is just fat people. My mistake.

      That, smadam (see what I did there?), is disgusting.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Emma-Eea/100003674375782 Emma Eea

        Do you live in Philly??..
        Just asking so that I can personally thank you for your thoroughly hilarious reply =)

    • http://bonjourgazel.blogspot.com Gazel

      Instead of typing such a disgusting remark, why don’t you go do something with your life and help those poor starving people instead of going on someones personal blog and bashing them? Seriously, get a life. I’d rather be fat than be a spiteful dick like you are. Whether I die or not from my fatness is none of your concern either. Go choke on a carrot, bye.

    • Butyl

      You know not all people are fat because they eat like hoarses.  And what exactly are you doing to help save people from dying of malnutrition and hunger?  What gives you the righjt to insult someone brave enough to say,”I have a weight problem”?  You are probably one of the most narcissistic bastards I wil never have the pleasure of meeting. Suck shit dickface and find something better to do than criticising others! 

        

    • Lizzypoops

      WOW…. angry are we? Try to be more original than ” eating enough food to feed 15 adults” next time you insult someone to this degree. Also, I don’t think the bloggers eating habits caused 3rd world poverty. Be a little more dramatic next time.

  • Googler

    I just looked through your site and noticed it says you’re liberal? I’m chuckling to my self right now since you’re CLEARLY not a liberal! Do you know how much more oil we burn to grow the massive amounts of food being consumed in America and other industrialized western nations? We don’t have the fucking oil so we wage war so we can grow more disgustingly large crops for fat people like you can’t even put two and two together…

    Pfftt! Liberal my ass! you’re an irresponsible greedy little girl who don’t know when she’s had enough!

    • Ryan

      Also, remember that Doctor Who episode where all of the Daleks look like iPod Nanos. What was up with that? Oh, and how about Pump sneakers? Do they still make those?

      Sorry, I thought we were randomly talking about crap that had nothing to do with the post. My fault. My regards to Fox News.

    • Standup

      You know what you are?  You obviously don’t know how it feels to be fat.  Let be just say it feels terrible and no matter how much you cry and try to wish yourself thin i doesn’t work.  When someone tries to put people like me down, I bring the fist of GOD down on you!  What makes you qualified to assess the problem with dwindling supplies of oil? Also, I never knew most of the oil we use goes into growing foods.  I guess not cars, factories, heat and electricity.  I completely agree with you.  WE BURN TONS OF OIL TO MAKE FOOD INSTEAD OF USING OIL TO POWER CARS AND HEAT.  Not really though.  Most of our oil is probably used fueling your BIG HEAD and AGENDA!   

    • Tessamusel

      I think your an egotistical jack ass you can’t think outside social norms, just because you ate fat doesn’t mean you eat to much or eat more than the majority, alot of that fat comes from your genes and what your parents passed down to you. Your an idiot for trying to make this post some kind of a political debate. I mean how small minded can you be to turn this post that can help and lift the spirits of so many people that are torn down by people like you into something as Stupid as a political issue!! By the way, no wonder your expressing your political ideas on a website about being fat, because the real politicians think your a joke because your focus on politics is about people being fat!! What an idiot.

  • Macinflopp

    Wow, I just read this and it is soo inspiring.  I have been struggling with my weight for God knows how long and I have always felt ashamed and worthless about myself whenever I thought about weight.  Your courage to say that you are fat is amazing and commendable.  It makes me feel not so ashamed anymore.  Thanks for giving me back some of my confidence.
    Sincerely,
    Anonymous 

    • IamwhoIam

       I completely agree with you.  She so brave for saying what she said and she should be commended for that.  I can really appricate her bravery and courage to stand up to self rightous images of what people think you’re supposed to look like.  Thanks Taybag:)

  • Fucker

    lol fatty

  • Sut pikke fede svin

    Fat and disgusting lololol

  • Theinternet9

    How you can you embrace such an unhealthy lifestyle and still be okay with yourself.

  • Kimchi858

    Wonderful post. I’m fat too, and wondered if there wasn’t something wrong with me that I like myself anyway. There just had to be other fat people out there with healthy attitudes, I knew there had to be, so I’m glad I found you. I used to be thin as well, after losing all my excess weight, and while I did think I looked better, there was a lot I didn’t like about it. Weight loss is sold as a cure all for everything wrong in your life and I didn’t find all those promises to be fulfilled once I got thin. I was still the same me – still messy, still shy, but I was still all the good things I ever was too, but hungrier.

    • Kimchi858

      ps. I love zombies, too.