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I like being fat.

Posted by Sarah in Fatshion, Life | View Comments

I like being fat. Not plus sized. Not curvy. Not voluptuous. Not big boned. Not thick. Or anything other euphemism I can’t think of at the moment. Why do I like being FAT?

Because the word “fat” no longer hurts me.

Even after I became a fa(t)shion blogger, I was still wary of the word fat. Why would I call myself that? There are so many OTHER words I could use – I mean, I’m a writer after all, and a poet no less, so I know how to rock synonyms. I avoided it. I used it on my blog, but there was no way outside of the blogosphere you would hear this girl calling herself a fatty. I’d probably call myself…a bigger girl. Maybe even a big girl if I was feeling brave, but definitely not fat. But why? Let’s look at the definition of fat:

From Merriam-Webster: notable for having an unusual amount of fat

From Wordnet: having an (over)abundance of flesh

From dictionary.com: having too much flabby tissue

So, what do we get from these defintions? Well, firstly, defining the adjective fat often involves using OTHER adjectives to fat, and that being fat means you have a flabby tissue or a lot of flesh. (Maybe I will start embracing the word fleshy?) And now let’s look at what the definitions DO NOT SAY:

- Ugly

- Smelly

- Unloved

- Unfashionable

- Stupid

- Unhealthy

WHO KNEW?

So, I’ve realized, it’s just a word. A descriptive one. I am not going to let it have negative connotations. I’m not going to feel bad about being fat. It’s just what I am. Fat. I have an overabundance of flesh. I have an unusual amount of fat. I have too much flabby tissue. (Though, not sure how much I agree with the whole “too much” and “overabundance” parts of the definitions, but hey, that’s a post for another time). And it’s okay to be fat. A lot of people are fat. A lot of people are thin. We’re all different. And the best part is, this doesn’t hurt me anymore.

Someone can call me fat, and I can say, “Why yes, I am.”

There has been a lot of talk recently of the way people use the word fat, people often say, “I feel fat today.” or “I look fat today.” But what are people really trying to say? It’s like the way my students use the word “gay.” Do they really mean that their phone is acting homosexual when it’s not working right? No, they mean it’s not working properly. So why not just say that, instead of using a word that has nothing to DO with a phone not working right – which is why I always correct them with my usual spiel, “Really? Do you really think that is “gay”? Or are you trying to say something else?” And they always correct themselves.

When someone says, “I feel fat today,” they probably truly mean,

I feel….

- unhappy

- sad

- bad about his/herself

- upset
Or a variety of other emotions. Let’s say what we REALLY mean. Let’s help people correct the way they speak - because not only does it remove negative connotations from the word “fat,” it also encourages people to be in touch with how they feel. Their emotions.

So ladies, how do you feel about being fat? Or should I say, the word “fat”? Does it bother you? Did it bother you before, but now you’ve let go? Tell me your stories, I want to hear them, because I am now proud to say,

View Comments

kittehinfurs / June 22, 2010

Intellectually speaking I KNOW there was a point of time it bothered me to no end, but I can’t actually remember that time. It’s been a long time since I got okay with the word ‘fat’ as a self descriptor and I don’t even think about it anymore.
kittehinfurs´s last blog ..Ascot
Molly / June 22, 2010

This was nice to read, but the word still bothers me.
if someone calls me fat, it still hurts. I can’t help it.

I remember one time in high school overhearing a group of kids talking about me. Not particularly bad, it was just something like “she’s in group number four…” I remember being happy that they called me “she.” My heart fluttered… And then I realized I was grateful they didn’t call me it/shim/him which many were prone to do. It was messed up that I was so used to being dehumanized. My femininity ripped away from me. I’m still scarred.

I don’t know if I will ever truly heal from the abuse because it continues to this day… At least I can find solace in blogs like this.
- Jen / June 22, 2010
  
  i think there’s a big difference in self-labelling and being “othered”, if that makes sense. i’m fat, and i have curly hair. i can call myself fat and talk about my giant puffy curly hair. but if i’m in target and i hear somebody talking about giant puffy curly hair, it’s much more negative and labelling.
Curvy Lady / June 22, 2010

I am fat and I have come to terms with that. I can’t say there aren’t times when it bothers me to hear certain people say it in reference to me but I’m a work in progress.
Curvy Lady´s last blog ..Waiting to Lose Weight Jeans
- Sarah / July 1, 2010
  
  Work in progress is fabulous! I was not too long ago!
Heather / June 22, 2010

I’m not okay with the word. I sure do wish I was, because I know I am a beautiful and intelligent woman. The fact that people cannot see past my “overabundance” of flesh makes me sad. I always ask people to be honest and tell me what they think of me, but if they ever mention the fact that I am fat it hurts. I know I can do something to make myself not fat, but I like myself. I like my curves, and my big breasts and larger rear end. I just don’t like that other people look at it and think “Wow, she is fat.” Maybe someday, but not today.
Heather´s last blog ..Bonus Post!
Lauren / June 22, 2010

I really like this post, especially on a fatshion blog. Part of me does want to delve into this territory on mine, but I feel not well read enough as the big guns, and plus it would invite debate from people who don’t understand and it would make me angry!

I’ve never been able to use fluffier descriptions of my body as I felt it was misleading. I am fat. I am obese. I’m not curvy – I have tiny boobs and no waist when curves = boobs. Sometimes I am okay with my fat, obese, uncurvy body. Sometimes I’m not. But I know that objectively, that’s what I am so I’m not going to be offended by those words. Yeah it’s horrible when someone insults you but if you think about it it’s not neccessarily the words they use, it’s the intention behind it.

Sorry I’ve read too many shitty comments today and am annoyed! x
Lauren´s last blog ..2 x OOTDs – Yes, Really!
Courtney / June 22, 2010

The word “fat” used to really bother me. I remember when I was in high school (and not even fat, at that point) and “fat” being one of the worst insults anyone could throw at you. The word still freaked me out until a few years ago when I met my husband and got involved in the Fatshionista community on Livejournal. Nowadays, I don’t even think twice when I use the word to describe myself, because I don’t see it as a negative thing anymore. It’s just like saying “red-head” or “short” to describe myself.
I do absolutely hate it when I hear kids use the term “gay” to describe something they don’t like or think is dumb, though. Thanks for trying to make a difference in that aspect. : )

Loving The Reflection
Courtney´s last blog ..Loving the Reflection is now on Facebook!
Katrin / June 23, 2010

I always try to see the word fat jut as I would describe my best friend as skinny. Or just like I would use Oh she is tall/short/ has red hair … whatever. And at some point some months ago I came across the same thought, that if someone calls me fat I could just answer: “Oh my god, what an amazing conclusion! Yes I am fat. ” But in reality it isn’t that easy. I still think that despite my mostly colorful hair, my sometimes very unordinary clothes and my beautiful smile, people look at me and think: She is fat.
But I know that it is me, who thinks that everyone else thinks so. I am … I don’t know the words in english…ahh, the dictionary says: I am losing my train of toughts.

So what I wanted to say is that FAT still has a very, very negative connotation, even if we should just try to see it as a word to describe that you are thick. That’s it. I am very rare using it to decribe myself. I know that if you use it, for example when I am shopping with my friends and say: No I would be to fat for this. They look at you as if you said: No sorry I am the ugliest person in the whole world and could never ever wear this. Even if you just meant, sorry it won’t fit me, it is too small. I always get comments like: Ohh..you are not fat…just thick.

People are fucking scared of this word. And so people who like to insult others, because of their own unsatisfaction with life, use it often enough to tell us: Fat is a bad word. If I call you fat I also mean this and this and this.

It is time to come across this thinking. Cause in the end it is ourselves that keep think: ow he called me fat, so he also thinks i am stupid, and unhealthy and ugly!
Katrin´s last blog ..Giveaway: Kool Kat Kustom
Ali / June 24, 2010

So what does this mean for fashion brands? I’m a copywriter and I work on quite a few ‘plus-size’ fashion brands – and I have to tell you, it’s a nightmare!

Do we say curvy, do we say fuller figured, do we just list the sizes we do? I’m not sure that ‘fat’ would ever be the word to use, but anything we say can cause a stir. Some people hate ‘curvy’ and let’s face it, being plus-sized doesn’t necessarily mean being curvy. It’s a minefield.

The brands I work on do some amazing things, they design clothes to fit your figure. So the design of something in a size 16 is different to the design of the same piece in a size 32 – but tell the customer that in a nice ‘non-offensive’ way is really tricky. A lot of the time we don’t do it justice, because we’re walking on egg shells. It’s a real shame.
Anika / June 24, 2010

http://sweetfacedstyle.blogspot.com/2010/06/fab-link-love.html
;D
xx Anika
sweetfacedstyle.blogspot.com
Anika´s last blog ..Fab link love
- Sarah / July 1, 2010
  
  I love you!
  - Anika / July 4, 2010
    
    love you back! <3
    Anika´s last blog ..Stylish blogawards and confessions
em. x. / June 25, 2010

I find this a really interesting post. I have been called “fat” all my life.

These days, when called “fat” I am happy to own it. I am not sure when I just thought, yeah- that’s true – but it was a long while ago now.

Just recently a woman walked into me (her fault) and then called me a “fat bitch” because I took issue with her not looking where she was going. That’s not even a clever insult. In fact, I smiled when she said it and said – “Yeah, I am fat – that’s not insulting, it’s well observed. At least I’m not rude.”

She had no idea how to respond. I loved that moment.
em. x.´s last blog ..Long Time, No Blog…
Jennifer Nicole / June 30, 2010

I love this post! It’s so good to see someone own the word, and not stress about it, instead of getting up in arms. Fat is a descriptor without any inherent negative connotation. Nothing more!
Jennifer Nicole´s last blog ..The Allure
lisa / June 30, 2010

YES! Own it! Only once we actually deal with the honesty of the word and not it’s intention can you say, “I am fat. And?” There’s nothing wrong with fat. Associating fat with the negative is in your head, not your heart.

[WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ’0 which is not a hashcash value.
Mellie / June 30, 2010

I am so excited by this post. I am also a fat girl and felt confident enough to name my website “The Fat Apple, NYC” because it’s my ft take on The big apple.
I just came across your blog but I will definitely continue to read.
Best,
Mellie
- Sarah / July 1, 2010
  
  Yay Mellie! Thanks for the link – I’ll be checking out your blog!
Franca / July 1, 2010

I couldn’t agree more! I’m not fat myself, but a lot of my family are and I am interested in and very sympathetic to the fat acceptance/health at any size blogging world. As a result I’ve started using fat as a descriptor as in ‘my mum is fat’ without thinking about it and people always go ‘oh my god! Don’t say that!’ like it’s some sort of awful thing. So I stopped. I’m actually a bit tentative now. Is it ok for me as a non-fat person to describe people as fat? I assume so – but what do people think?
Franca´s last blog ..Outfit 19610- New dress-
christina of profresh style / July 2, 2010

I must say, I am extremely happy that you and I are both in July 1st’s LALM. I am proud to be placed with such an outstanding declaration. thank you for your words<3.

xx.
Christina
christina of profresh style´s last blog ..Every day Makeup Routine
kathryn / July 2, 2010

I hate the word curvy too, because I’m not. To me, curvy suggests a pin-up girl, hourglass figure. Also plus-size I think it is something you use for clothing, not people.

It’s amazing how people react when you call yourself fat. They are so fast to jump in with “no you aren’t”. Facts is just facts, people.
kathryn´s last blog ..Gratitude 2
Vicki / August 30, 2010

I very much dislike the word fat. I come from a family of large women.My grandmother on my mother's side, my mom, and all of my 4 sisters! I am the smallest one and I wear a size 12 which in todays world is consisdered plus size. Several of my sisters have health issues because of their weight. My grandmother and mom were both able to get to a healthy weight for their frame. I applaude them because although I definately promote self acceptance…I feel that alot of large girls use that as a crutch to be able to remain at their unhealthy weight. We have all allowed ourselve to get lazy and get used to fast food and overeat. I speak for myself as I say this. I am overweight by 20 pounds. When I say thiss to some of the larger girls that I work with…..they get frustrated with me since I am the smallest person there. But I believe it our responsibility to take care of our bodies. In the long run…we will be healthier…feel better..and set a better example for our own children!
Tabayag / August 30, 2010

Loving your body isn't a “crutch.” It's loving yourself for who you are. And being overweight doesn't necessarily mean you are unhealthy – don't call me lazy and talk about my eating patterns – you don't know anything about me or my health.

I don't believe in “healthy weights” and “unhealthy weights,” you can be healthy at any size. If you really research “obesity” and the “epidemic” you will learn a lot of things you never knew before.

Also, I don't plan on having children, but if I did, I would set the BEST example for them by showing them that I love myself, my body, and them – without being influenced by societies lies and pressures.
Groach / August 30, 2010

Marilyn Monroe was a size 12. So, technically you not only *not* overweight, but you are at a very good one (depending on height). Your statement about health is rather unfounded as well, considering that multiple studies have shown BMI and weight to be inconsidering of factors that make quite a difference – body frame, muscle mass, etc. Gymnasts routinely test at 'overweight' BMIs due to their muscle mass. It sounds like your family carries a gene for slower metabolism – I'm sorry. However, this does not mean that your sisters need to be a size 8 – for people with very slow metabolisms, this can be unhealthy to maintain. Please take that into consideration before making uneducated comments.
Vicki / August 30, 2010

My family shares the gene that contributes to obesity…..yes…..and I never said that they should be a size 8….although my 5'11 sister used to be that size at one point. I am not talking about gymnists and people who have a reason to have a high BMI…I am just talking about people who are substantially overweight! My comments were not uneducated…..they come from my life experiences. The best education there is. I watch most women who are very overweight…come into the store that I work in…..out of breath….sweating…tired…..swollen feet and they make a point to sit down before they can shop. All I am saying is….while we all love outselves….lets not use it as an excuse to stay fat!!
Vicki31763 / August 30, 2010

I absolutely dissaggree that you can be healthy at any size. I know alot of fat people…and most of them have health issues caused by their weight. I don't mean to come accross as a fat basher…because I am not…..I just think the whole ” love the fat person that you are” syndrome…has caused us to be a fat society!
Tabayag / August 30, 2010

Your life experiences don't make you a doctor. And I can shop perfectly fine without sweating and being out of breath. And guess what? It is OKAY TO BE FAT. There are fat people and skinny people and it's ALL OKAY. Clearly, you haven't researched Health At Every Size or the lies of the obesity epidemic. And once again, you don't know anything about anyone else's health but your own, so please stop spreading your ignorance and hate on my blog.
vicki / August 30, 2010

It's not hate…I don't hate anyone…and i never said I was a doctor…..show me one Doctor who says being fat is healthy and good for you…….
Tabayag / August 30, 2010

http://www.amazon.com/Health-Every-Size-Surpris...

Here is one and there are many. Now I am done with this.
Stillredheaded / August 30, 2010

yo, vicki….i'm almost 53 years old and am FAT….i don't have diabetes….i don't have cholesterol problems…..i'm HEALTHY……

so FU

my brother who is 6'7″ tall and about 230….and he has all those problems….

So, fat and healthy? MY HAND RAISED.