So, I love swimming. I grew up with a bowl in my back yard and my mom put me in it when I was two. I immediately became a fish. I am surprised my body did not evolve and develop gills from the amount of time I spent in the pool during my childhood. I wore out bathing suits from chlorine eating away at them because I never rinsed them – what was the point, I would be back in the pool within a few hours anyway!

What do I hate about swimming?

I hate having to go to a god forsaken department store to look at ugly bathing suits with Hawaiian patterns, ugly color blocks, or big giant flowers. And what I hate even more is that all the ones in my size usually have these attributes. Then there is the fit…you can get a one piece that has carefully placed color, ruching, and super spandex to suck you in or you can get a suit with a giant ass skirt. I may have big thighs, but that does not mean I want some big skirty thing hanging down to my knees – as if that is going to hide the fact that I have some mega-thighs.

HELLO! I AM FAT! YOU CAN’T STRATEGICALLY HIDE MY FAT ASS!

As I was saying, I love the water. So I want a cute bathing suit to show that a) I can swim in b) Shows I have a sense of style and c) accentuates my curves, doesn’t try to hide them with material. So the following suits are some I am considering for the 2010 swim season.

1. This Marilyn suit from Pinup Girl Clothing makes me squeal inside. I literally feel giddy just looking at it. It has two removeable brooches at the straps, a built in shelf bra and a whole LOT of HOT. It was available in pink, but it has since sold out. Price: $90 + Shipping
2. Lane Bryant Ruffle Tankini I dig the girliness of this swimsuit. Especially the frilly boobs and frilly little skirt. That skirt is an acceptable skirt – it’s cute and not trying to hide anything. I like that the top is a little blousy and airy – very summery. Also amazing – the top has a built in bra and you buy it according to your cup size. With my…ample bust, that is fabulous. Price (seperates): $59.50 for the top and $49.50 for the skirt = $109 + Shipping
3. This black suit from OneStopPlus.com is simple, but still very stylish. It’s a much less flashy design – but the sweetheart neckline and the leg openings are adorable – this is for the more demure lady. Which is not me…but I still like it Price: $64.90 + Shipping
   
4. The Monif C Barbodos suit is a whole lot of SEX. Pure SEX. Which I don’t necessarily mind in a swimsuit. I am partial to the gold, because I like outrageous styles and this certainly does that for me. It has an adjustable v-neck and adjustable ties to make higher or lower leg openings. Price: $148 + Shipping
5.